Wednesday, July 29

at last....

so, thanks for sticking with me this month. film history was a lot more involved than i anticipated, and i had to create a portfolio of art to submit for acceptance into art school. it's 6:15 on the morning of my portfolio review, and i just finished the last pencil strokes of my self portrait. i've got an hour and a half before i have to get to school, and i'm feeling so relieved it's unreal.

the weight of creating art is something i had forgotten for a time, and it's a much different feeling than having a paper to write, or a test to study for. it feels like you're presenting so much more of yourself, more than just your ideas, but your skills, talents and worldview. to be honest, i feel like creating art is like stripping to your skivvies in front of a bunch of fitness nuts, and hoping they don't notice the cellulite. or the pencil strokes i forgot to erase, or the places i made the walls of my pots uneven. hoping they see the form underneath, the potential for greatness, even if i haven't done a situp in a year. or drawn in 5.

and to top off the creation anxiety, it's going to be judged, and used as the basis for my acceptance into uga's lamar doodd school of art. which according to the professors i had at gainesville state, is a rigorous process. i don't even know what to think, i just keep telling myself that it's out of my hands now. and it truly is. if they don't feel like i have the latent ability to continue on in art, it's okay. i'll be a happy little english major, and hope to score a librarian job or something someday.

the upside to all of this, is my return to the potters wheel. i've missed throwing pottery so much, and have so enjoyed the time in the studio i was able to carve out this month. if i don't get accepted, especially if i don't get accepted, i'll be at the studio still, throwing my little heart out. and i'm okay with that. it's really gonna be okay. i just have to keep telling myself this, i know it's gonna be okay.

as soon as i get some groceries bought today (we ran out of milk 3 days ago, and spencer just bought some last night out of desperation) i'll start taking pictures again. we've got a christmas party to attend on friday, and i will most definitely be documenting the festivities. what, you mean everyone doesn't throw a "christmas in july" party on july 31st every year? this is year one for the party, and i hope it continues to be a yearly tradition. since i think i've made my love of christmas manifest to all of y'all.

so, on that note, i'm off. i'm gonna go get coffee and an apple fritter, and haul my self to school, and then off to the review. updates soon, and pictures within a few days. and the news about art school in another 2 weeks or so.

kisses and hugs from all of us!

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I felt the same way in creative writing class. Poetry is so much more "exposing" than a straight-up English paper.

BTW -- I am so psyched about Christmas in July and Hope talks about it non-stop.