gratitude

welllll.... we signed the lease today. so we did it. we started over. i don't know if anyone else understands the magnitude of feeling we have right now, but it's overwhelming gratitude.

there's a song by a band we both really love, and the verse and chorus says this:
"When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go"

this is our anthem. this is most certainly the song our hearts are singing to the Lord.

oh. and i've got a few pictures of the house. we weren't able to get inside today, which is fine. the current tenant is still packing, and the house would seem teenier than it is. i think the backyard and the inside of the house are the same size. actually, i think the backyard is bigger. hah. and those big trees? pecan trees. so come this fall, you know what we'll be doing. eating a ton of pecan pies. the landlord is going to take a week to clean and pressure wash and do some repairs before we move in, so the house will look a little different when you see it again. but the amazing turquoise trim will still be there.

also. i will probably take a break from blogging until we get moved in. i promise i will have lots of pictures when we get back online, but i have 3 weeks to get a lot done. our move in date is set for the 11th, and we should be back as soon as internet is turned on in the house. hopefully by the 11th.

so, thank you. everyone who's been praying for us. i know the things that have transpired in our life are the direct result of prayer. we love you guys. a lot. and life on this blog is about to be very different. get ready. it's gonna be awesome.

i know i left everyone hanging with my doomsday post last week. but like i hoped, i have good news to share.

spencer's surgery went really well, and he and the oral surgeon are now working on a timeline to start his dental implants and all the surgeries involved.

we got a deposit from the state, equaling the amount spent on surgery. yay!

we got our car from the wonderful folks who gave it to us, and we've got wheels now.

we're going to be receiving unemployment benefits until july, which allows us to get into school this summer, and pay rent with it until we get our grants.

WE FOUND A HOUSE TODAY!! which is a bit of a miracle at this time of year in athens, since most places are pre-leasing for the fall. it's a little 2 bedroom house, downtown athens (i could ride my bike to school if i wanted to) with a fenced backyard, and central heat and air. which is also another miracle, since most of the places in our price range were pseudo-crack house looking places. seriously. we went to 3 places today that i wouldn't want to keep livestock in, and the rent was more than we'll be paying on our little place. we put down the deposit and sign the lease on saturday, but we won't be moving in until spencer's birthday. april 12th or thereabout. the current renter wants to move out the week of the 4th, and the landlord plans on getting into the house and touching up the paint, cleaning, and refinishing the floors. and she's already got a little spot weeded for a garden! hello tomatoes, here i come.

so, thank you so much. everyone who lifted us up this past week. we had some pretty awesome breakthroughs, and it only continues to cement our knowledge of a loving Father, who won't give us more than we can handle.

more pictures coming soon, i need to take some. and whenever the house is emptied, i'll post pictures of it. well, you might have to wait until we move in, but you'll get to see it. it's pretty small, but it's exactly what we need.

so, here we are again. after another long delay. in all honesty, all the changes and uncertainty in our life has made it pretty un-motivating for me to blog. as lame as that sounds, it's easier to hide my life from everyone when i'm ashamed of it. i know that almost everything that's happened this year isn't our fault, and there might have only been a few things we could have changed. at least i know it in my head. but who really likes to post pictures of their kid growing up at grandma and grandpa's house because they can't find work, can't afford a car, can't figure out what they're doing with their life. and so yeah, it's been easier not to post.

we were given a car last week, something that brought spencer and i a lot of hope. hope that we really are gonna get to start over. that our life is about to change. hope that we can use our tax money to put a deposit on an apartment, and really get on our own. until 3 days ago. when 2 of spencer's 3 remaining molars decided to go insane on him. he's not slept in 3 days, and the pain has been excruciating. i get so angry when this happens, because it's just not fair. he keeps losing tooth after tooth, and before long, there's gonna be nothing left. he's having surgery on monday, getting 2 more teeth removed. leaving him with 1 molar. just 1. and to pay for that surgery, since the 2 weeks we got of unemployment compensation this january made us ineligible for medicaid, we're having to use our deposit money. i'm so frustrated with everything right now. i know God is in control of all of this. i know this. but it's so hard to hang onto hope when every circumstance seems to thwart our ability to move on. supposedly, because spence's unemployment was put on hold for 2 months, we're going to receive those 8 weeks in a lump sum. which would repay the deposit money, and give us our chance to start over. without those 8 weeks, we're going to have to stay here longer, possibly miss the summer semester and move when we can save the money up again.

i know this isn't what you come here for. you come for sweet pictures of your grand-daughter, your great-grand-daughter, your cousins, family you've never met in person. but i'm so tired of hiding all these fears. and frustrations. pray for us. pray that we are able to move on with our life. instead of stuck in a borrowed bedroom, hoping to one day start over. pray for spencer's mouth. the situation is not good, and he is in constant agony from his mouth. even when his teeth aren't acting up, he's hurting all the time. i hate it. i can't even describe the fury i feel because of him being in pain. pray that for once, the red tape gets brushed aside, and we're able to get back the 8 weeks we should have already received. pray i learn to pray more, and whine less.

i'll be posting pictures of zoë soon. i need to upload them from the camera. and maybe next time you hear from me, we'll have better news to share.